Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you.

No, you can’t.
Yes, I can. No, you can’t.
Yes, I can. No, you can’t.
Yes, I can,
Yes, I can!

Anything you can be
I can be greater.
Sooner or later,
I’m greater than you.

No, you’re not. Yes, I am.
No, you’re not. Yes, I am.
No, you’re NOT!. Yes, I am.
Yes, I am!

- Anything You Can Do, performed by Annie Oakley and Frank Butler

So today is going to be one of those controversial post that would probably have me in the dog house if I were married.

I start off with a simple question.   Are men and women equal?  I’m not asking that question in the whole, “have women came to a point where they are treated the same in society”?  I’m not asking, “has the women’s movement achieved it’s goal”?

I’m asking are women and men equal?  Can women do anything that men can do?

Should men be the head of the household or is that an archaic tradition based on an outdated idea that men are the superior of the species?

Let’s look at it from a couple of aspects.

1. Purely animal state/secular level – In all other species of animals it seems like the males of the species run the household.  Take lions for example.  Lionesses kill food and then before she gets to eat, the male eats first.  And on top of that he usually has a pack of women.  He runs the whole pride.  Him and his lionesses.  He protects them because he is the more powerful of the species.  And for this protection he gets to make babies and have his food brought to him.

2.  Religion – I think just about every major religion has some part of it’s moral code based on the idea that the man is the head of the household.  One can only infer from that that he is the superior of the species (sorry I been studying for the GMAT so ignore how I’m writing).

Now one thing thing that the animal example omits is whether the female is smarter.  Which I think if you look at the example she actually is.   All the male does is protect the pride.  She actually has to run a household.  I think that takes a lot more intelligence.

The religion this is also tricky too.  We have seen a lot of inferior men use this to dominant relationships.

So how do I feel.  Do I think men and women are equal…

Well… No…

I let you gasp and cuss me out for a second…

This is why.  I think intelligent wise women are just a smart as men and based on the stupid things we do for you guys it may be easy to prove you are actually smarter.  But when it comes to physical strength hands down men win.  If you couple that with our almost as good intelligence we win the battle.

Now I know there are a lot of outliers out there when it comes to women being superior, but in aggregate I think we are the clear winners here.

So this is a time when I’m asked should men be the head of the household.  I think so, but let me add a disclaimer here.   Men can only head a house that they are taking care of.  If he is the head, that family should never worry about anything.   With great power comes great responsibility.

Now when you stop calling me a pig and cussing I want to hear your thoughts.   People at the Cool Table… Are men and women equal?  Is one sex superior?  Which one?

Louis CK has a stand-up album called Hilarious that cause me to have an epiphany.   If you haven’t seen it you should check it out.

He has a section in it called… “Everything’s Amazing & Nobody’s Happy”.

In it he talks about how we complain about everything, but how we never sit back and just realize how good we have things.

I mean think about it.  We complain about flying, but really thinking about flying.   You sit in a plane and go through the air at hundreds of miles an hour and you don’t even feel it unless there is some turbulence.  You can go from New York to California in 5 hours.  In the 1800’s that trip would have took you 3 months and you were likely not to show up in California with the same people you left New York with.

I think about my own life.  I complain about my job a lot.  I get mad because I don’t have a enough work to do and my boss ignores me sometime.  Now let me give you some background.  I have my own office,  my boss doesn’t keep up with my vacation time, I get paid a decent salary, and I’m black.

Can you imagine me complaining to my great-great-great grandfather that was a slave?

Me: I’m tired of my job I don’t do anything.

GGG-grandfather:  Son…You’re a b!tch.  Do you want to switch places?

Your boss ignores you.  I have freaking overseer!

You have an office.  I stay in a shack with 20 people half the size of your office.

You get paid in money.  I get paid in chitlins and rags for clothes.

You get vacation time…. Vacation!  You lazy M.F.  You don’t even work that much.  I work!  I plant enough food to feed Mississippi every day.  Do you know how much a country ninja in Mississippi  can eat?

You sicken me!

So good people at the cool table I implore you to sit back and really think about all the stuff we take for granted and really start to appreciate it.

I know that’s not correct grammar, but I’m on a bit of rant.

Why are people so dumb?  I mean seriously.  I could see if this was the 40’s and there was one library in town and it was Whites Only, but information is so readily available.

I mean you can go on a computer and go this white page with a box on it.  You can type whatever the heck want in that box and wealth of information pops up (for the dumb this place is google.com).

Well the reason I’m so mad is because I get tired of people asking me questions they know the answer to or they can get the answer.  I have a co-worker that ask me some of the most elementary crap I have ever been ask in my life.  Questions like what comes after the number 4.  Google it you dumb broad!

Do you ever listen to people talk now?  It’s like wikipedia doesn’t even exist.  I’m just saying there is no reason to be dumb.  It’s too easy to learn now.

People of the Cool Table share a story of a time you said to yourself… “Ain’t no reason for you to be that dumb.”  Maybe you actually said that to them… That would be even better.

Avatar a*k*a Space Dances With Wolves has caused a frenzy of  3D movies to hit the silver screen.

I liked Avatar, but I can understand why people weren’t in love with the movie.  Although visually different, it is a movie that has been done before…

Which brings me to the newest 3D(isaster) to hit the screens:   Drive Angry starring Nick Cage.  I was watching the preview the other day and thinking, “This movie is going to be terrible.”  Then all of sudden the announcer says, “In 3D!”  Then I say, “You mean in WTH?”  I guess the movie being in 3D somehow negated all the nonsense that I just saw.

Basically the announcer said, “Get ready for the worst movie of the year… In 3D.”

<sarcasm>Well of course I want to watch it now.</sarcasm>

The problem with the new 3D technology is that it makes people think that they can make a terrible movie, throw some 3D technology on it, and then it becomes good.  Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.  (See: The Last Airbender).

It’s kind of like a lot of rap music.  Throwing a good beat on a wack song doesn’t always make it better.  (See:  Soulja Boy and Lil B)

Oh, it doesn’t stop there.  Then you get weirdos that make crap like this.

<sarcasm>Finally, I’ve been waiting on this!</sarcasm>

Call me crazy, but watching T.V. looking like I’m having a seizure doesn’t really appeal to me.

What do you guys think?  What is up with people thinking technology make bad things good?

*Also comment if you believe Nick Cage should stop acting.  I think he’s has proven he is not to be trusted to make good movies.

I was thinking of movies that wouldn’t be good if there was a black version.  And I came to a conclusion that it’s not movies that don’t make sense in a black version.  I have to rule out whole genres.

Romantic Comedies -

Now I know most of you are thinking about those movies of the Late 90’s early 2000’s that were like Tyler Perry Presents How Stella Got Her Wood While Getting Love and Basketball with her Best Man.  Those were more like Romantic Drama.  I’m talking about Romantic Comedies like 50 First Dates and Wedding Crashers.  Those movies would not work in a Black Version.  Let’s be honest after the 2nd date on 50 First Dates that cat woulda been like this “this chick is too crazy for me.  Plus she can’t remember I spent lobster on her last night.  I’m out!”  Then you got Wedding Crashers.  I was at a black wedding this past weekend.  Trust me them cheap people would have spotted a poser a mile away. “Um…no… We got food for 25 people who are you two?!!” Then they would have been escorted out by Pookie and ‘em.

Horror Movie -

This wouldn’t work because the movie would be too short.

Example:

House : GET OUT!

(People Leave)

The End

And don’t give that Blackbuster Bull they put on BET.  Leprechaun: In the hood It’s exactly what they call it a “HORROR”ible Commedy.  (ba dum ching)

Family Movies where the kids win -

Ice Cube and Bernie Mac have disappointed me.  I know Bernie Mac Never had a movie, but that show pissed me off.  There is no way those kids would have gotten away with the stuff they did in a real man’s house.   And come on Cube.  ”Ain’t no loving good enough to get burnt while I’m up in it.  Now that’s realer than Real Deal Holyfield.” – Snoop Dogg.  Oh his show was some bull too.  See our post on Minstreal Reality Shows.

So there are some of the Genres I think are strictly Caucasian.  Can you guys give me some more?

-Trillionaire Wood

It's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got sh** to do!

Hey everybody.  I really don’t have anything to talk about today so I just want to say have a happy weekend and do something different.

Don’t do the typical stuff this weekend: Movies and Clubbing.

Try something new…  Here are 10 things you can do this weekend that are unconventional good times.

1. Museum

2. Festival (Try to find some kind of multicultural festival.  You’ll be surprised at how much you and another culture have in common).

3.  Go Hiking

4. Take a drive. ( I know gas is a million dollars a gallon, but you might find something in your own town that you never noticed before.

5. Take a class. ( Go learn pottery.  Take a cooking class)

6. Read a book outside.

7. Concert (Memphis in May starts this weekend!)

8. Take a walk.

9. Get on boat.

10. Go do some volunteering.

Well I guess this post got a little longer than it should.   If you have any suggestion let me know.  I’m a little bored.

-Trillionaire Wood

Yesterday I talked about my reality shows ideas and I would like to see them on TV.  Sadly my agent said the networks shot them down… oh well…

 I’m starting to notice how basically there is a chain reaction to reality shows.   Some people just go from one to the next.  Or as the bible would put it…  The devil begat The Surreal Life.  The Surreal Life begat Strange Love,  Strange Love Begat Flavor of Love,  Flavor of Love begat I Love New York, and I Love New York Begat Real Chance at Love.  And the beast was unleashed upon the Earth and reigned for a 1,000 years.  And there were plagues and pestilence.  And black people got dumber by the day…  (oh sorry went on a little tangent there).  Anyway…

I doubt that there are many career opportunities after being on these shows.  Namely because most of these people weren’t employable in the first place.  And usually after appearing on one of these shows, you make yourself unemployable.  Because most employers would love to see you act a fool, but don’t want you doing it at McDonalds during the lunch time rush.

So I present to you the Top 5 careers after your stint on a reality show.

1.  Another Reality Show.  Hey keep those $700 an episode checks coming in.  As long as you stay of tax payer money.

2. Go back to stripping.  Cause let’s be honest that is the only job you can leave for a couple of weeks to go do a reality show like Real Chance at Love and come back right where you left off.

3. Rapper or Singer.  Most use this as a spring board into those careers.   And it has worked for…hmmm…  drawing a blank here.

4. Acting.  I doubt if you can make it fake reality work.  I’m sure a script is going to be a bit difficult for you.  But hey you can try it.

5. The typical business venture.   Clothing line, book, etc.  I’m sure it would have been just as easy to make a worthwhile product and work hard to make it happen.  But hey we’re in a microwave society, so we don’t time for that work hard and be patient bull. 

My fellow nerds name me some more careers.

-Trillionaire Wood

When I was in college, there was a dorm at my school called Confederate Memorial Hall.   Most of the time it was just called Confederate Hall, which I don’t need to tell you caused many a black people to look like the way Three Six Mafia described Chinese women’s vaginas.  It’s just something about the word “Confederate” that brings in thoughts of Kunta Kinte, and him being whipped into the name Toby. The reason for the name, Confederate Memorial Hall, was it was funded by the Daughters of the the Confederacy (DOC) as a memorial to the fallen soldiers of the Confederacy.

Well because of public outcry, the dorm’s name was changed to Memorial Hall. This was done without the DOC’s knowledge, and they sued (rightfully so).  Well Vandy was a little smart.  The university changed the name in all publications, but left the name on the building facade.  They didn’t want to have to give UDC back  the $50, 000 that was given to fund the dorm 72 years ago… Which in today’s dollars converts to about $2.2 million… or about a year’s tuition for one student …J/K…only a little.  :(

While I was in college, I followed the crowd on this one which was, “Screw them!  They made us slaves!”  Well now I have to go back on that previous idea.  Although slavery was a huge part of the Confederacy, I understand there were numerous other issues that caused that war.  And those men, at the time, died for their country fighting for what they believed in.   And if their people want to pay for a memorial for that, then I have to say that is all good to me… BUT…We have to see both sides of that:  The dark and the light.  Sadly, in most wars that are fought, only the winner gets to decide who was right.  I’m sure if the South had won, the North would have the same problems with memorials.

“Treason is all a matter of dates ” – From the Movie the Count of Monte Cristo.

I’ll add to that it’s a matter of outcome as well.

But I say all that to keep my topic in perspective.

VA Gov.  Bob McDonnell made the declaration that April will be “Confederate History Month”.  Now I can see where people would have a problem with this.  But let’s be clear (In my Obama voice)…  I think it is just as wrong not to have a Confederate History month as it is to not to have Black History Month.  He did it for a clear reason.  He wanted to honor the past and boost tourism for the state.  I don’t have a problem with that.  But here is my problem Bob…

How dare you not cite the roll of slavery?  Now Bob I don’t have a problem with you honoring your people, but don’t you dare not tell the whole truth.  Keep it real son!

I think Martin Luther King was one of the greatest men to walk the Earth.  We honor him as well as all black pioneers during Black History month.  But let’s be honest.  MLK smoked, and he messed around with other women.  That’s the truth, and we would do ourselves a disservice not to tell the whole truth no matter how ugly it is.

I’m probably thinking too much on this one when I think about Bob’s merits.  (Which I tend to do)  But to me that is very careless and mildly racist.

So I don’t have any problem with what you do.  I say leave the name Confederate Memorial Hall.  I say have your Confederate Month.  But don’t forget my heritage in the process.

Wood has Spoken.

-Trillionaire Wood

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or your George  W. Bush circa 2005 Hurricane Katrina your life has been enveloped in the crisis in Haiti…

Well of course you’re getting hit from all sides on this tragedy. 

Some people say don’t give because we are already giving money through income tax.

Some people say give because it’s right the right thing to do.

If there is an opinion on this issue, it has been voiced.  And you have had a chance to weigh in on it.

But I must say their are two opinions that seems to pull me in every time.

 One made by Pat Robertson of the 700 Club.  Mr. Robertson has said on his show…

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it,” the televangelist said. “And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’ True story. And so the Devil said, ‘Okay, it’s a deal.’ . . . But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

So basically he’s saying they are cursed for what they did.  I’m not a fan of this comment because it’s based on speculative history.

But this is the one that really got me.

Rev. Eric Toussaint while addressing his congregation is quoted as saying…

“Why give thanks to God? Because we are here,” “What happened is the will of God.”

Now I could be totally misreading his  quotes and he may be saying that them surviving was the will of God, but it seems like he is saying the earthquake was the will of God.  That is about as believable as the plot for the movie Legion.

I have to say I’m totally in disagreement with both men.  I don’t believe that God goes around handing out punishment like water.  God loves us.  You can’t tell me in one breath God would give his only son so that the world be saved then go around killing people because he was angry with you or you made a pack with the devil.

What do you guys think?  Was the earthquake the will of God? 

-Trillionaire Wood

Today I have reached a new birthday.  I am 2* and feeling good. 

As I get older, I’m starting to understand that those things that your parents say, you’ll understand much better when you’re older.  Things that use to matter just don’t matter as much.  And things that didn’t matter in the past, matter so much more now.

The one thing that I can say about gettin golder is the best part about this moment is learning to not take things so seriously.  When I finally got that revelation, my life became so much better.  And if anyone has known me for a long time then they realize that was not a simple accomplishment. 

But it feels good to not feel obligated to go out.  Sometimes I just like to sleep. 

It feels good to walk away from an argument and not care that I didn’t win.  I always ask myself, “Will it matter tomorrow?”.

It  feels good to be comfortable about the fact that I like cartoons and I don’t give a crap who knows it.  (Don’t tell anybody else.)

Well this week as I was reaching the momentous occasion, I ran across one of those fowarded e-mails.  The one’s that tell you that if you don’t forward your computer will blow in 5 seconds or that God will stop loving you.  And I think it’s appropriate for anyone reaching a new age and wants to be a better person.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning.  Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name isAlzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh  often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6… The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:  If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

Happy Birthday to me and Happy Early Birthday to you all.

-Trillionaire Wood