1.  You pay for a degree graduate and earn your degree.  As soon as you get your degree though, you find out that you need more experience.

2.  Anyone 18 or younger all of sudden looks like a baby.  If you’re over 25, anyone under 25 looks like a baby.

3.  You make it through 4-5 years of undegrad, complete with all-night/morning study & cram sessions, without becoming a coffee or caffeine addict.  After 3-6 months of staying out til 3:00 A.M., coffee & caffeine are like cocaine… and you’re Charlie Sheen.

4.  Your goal is to be a millionaire, or at least a thousandaire, by age 30.  Yet, you don’t own one business.  Upon realizing this, you experience what is known as the quarter-life crisis.

5. In the club a social setting, your checklist went something like this:  booty, breasts, face.  Now it’s booty, breasts, face, ring finger.

6. Your parents start to make sense in a lot ways.

7. Your parents stop making sense in a lot of ways.

8. If it wasn’t relevant beforehand, local, national, and/or world news is now relevant to you.

9. Virgins exist in an alternate reality where machines have taken over the world, harvesting human body heat for power, and suduing their minds through a simulated reality called The Matrix.  Also, in this alternate reality, all black women with four-year philosophy degrees have successful, degree’d-up husbands with Insanity/P90X bodies, Paul Pierce has the sharpest shape up in America, all jobs start out at $100K, and Kobe Bryant is only known as a dish on the menu of a Japanese Steakhouse.

10.  If you do listen to the radio, then it’s mostly talk radio and morning shows.

11.  You realize it’s not the end of the world if you don’t go out on the weekend.

12. You learn the true value of sleep.

13.  Somebody you know gets married every week.

14. You realize you’re not invincible

15. Cheap liquor takes a much worse toll on your body.

16. Fighting becomes a last resort.

17.  Post-grad Greek life means nothing unless you’re lame.

18.  You think about how you would whoop other peoples kids you see them acting crazy in public.

19.  Rocking the homeless-Professor look from Goodwill is a better look than wearing Fubu, Phat Farm, Coogi, Ecko, or any kind of urban wear.

20.  At 18-19 yrs old, your requirements for dating someone included whether they had their own car or not.  At 20-something, your requirements include a 401k and benefits.

21.  Reading has become a form of entertainment.

22.  You’re old enough to be considered an adult, but young enough to not be considered, “old.”  This is awkward, and is the main reason for bad decisions made, “because I was young and just having fun.”  See:  Lindsey Lohan.

So… You get home from work and go through the motions daily routine of talking to your significant other (whether on the phone or in person).  You get the redundant, expected info from her about her day: Irritating co-worker, what she had for lunch, blah, blah, blah, etc.  She’s on her spill when all of a sudden, she stops mid-sentence to say, “Oh, and guess who tried to holla at me today?” 

Homer Simpson:  Urge to kill… rising.

She then continues to go on about some gold-grill, extra crisply, Jerome-looking guy smelling like Sex Panther, who tried to talk to her.  She goes on about how lame he looked, the corny things he said, blah, blah, blah, etc.  Then she goes into the spill of how she turned him down and how she “HAS A MAN.”

Biggest backhanded compliment ever…

Guess what ladies?  We don’t wanna hear that sh**!

Why?  Glad you asked.  Cue up Earth, Wind, & Fire.  These are the reasons:

1. We know you’re frontin!  Sure, you’re quick  to complain and point out the Roland Martin lookin’ dude who tried to get at you… You tell us because you want us to get in the amen-corner with you on how he would have the audacity to even talk to you.  You feel he’s almost beneath you in a sense.  We understand.  Good for you.  A woman will be quick to mention to her man the uber-lame guys who approached her… but would you mention that Idris-Morris-Kodjoe-Bush (or whoever y’all ogle over nowadays) pulled up in a Ferrari, lavished you with compliments, and wanted to take you out?  Would you mention that for a second you thought about giving him the draws number, before turning him down because you have a man?  Exactly. 

2. We’re men.  We already know these things.  So you’re mad that some guy approached you in Walmart while your hair was pinned back/in a scarf, you had on sweats, and were in straight up lounge mode?  It’s a well known fact that men like azz.  And azz, last time I checked, looks especially great in sweat pants.  So I guess you could say… We’ll holla at anything!  You look like a clone of Macy Gray & Esther Role in the face, but got a fatty?  Holla! Holla!  Holla!  No makeup on and buckshots in your head?  We’re not trying to smash your buckshots!  Aunt Flo just came in town, you’re feeling bloated, and rockin’ one your worst fits?  Lemme get that nummmmba!  It’s a well known fact that every woman gets stared at, approached, commented on, glared at, etc, at least 2.5 times a day. 

3. Do you need a compliment?  Maybe your man doesn’t give you enough compliments.  Maybe he’s starting to take you for granted.  So casually letting him know that another guy wants you is letting him know that he needs to step his game up.  You could just let him know directly, but that would be too much like right.

4. You can dish it out, but can’t take it.  We don’t even have to mention Beyonce groped us in the elevator this morning.  All we have to do is mention how that sweater you bought us caused Precious to give us the effdashytouttayou eye… and you’ll be ready to cut her! 

So, ladies, remember this next time you think about telling your guy about who tried to holla at you.  We know we’re not the only guy who finds you attractive.  We just like to believe we are.  Stroke that ego, baby!  Stroke that ego!

Good night and good luck!

So I’m wondering…
Is there a such thing as a soulmate,
Or is it a lemon dream that somebody sold me?
Is there a person whom God destined for me
Since I came out the womb and took my first steps like a probate?
Is it a fad or a gimmick?
If she’s at some type of party, church service, some type of function… I’m in it
I wonder how in the world can we be kindred spirits
When we both grown as h*ll and ain’t ever been out the city limits?!?!

Is there a such thing as a soulmate,
Or is it a lemon dream that somebody sold me?
It gets “cumber” with “some”
How can a lady be my earth when there ain’t nothing new under the sun?’
So if she’s the one that got away or, rather, she skidaddle’d
How do I know there ain’t three more like her somewhere in Seattle?
Perhaps she has a clone in Rome, or most certainly
A South African look-a-like, a doppelganger in Germany
I’m saying… is there a such thing as a soulmate,
Or is it a lemon dream that somebody sold me?
I guess the question’s rhetorical for the moment
Just my ramblings at 4:36 in the morning…

What do you think?  Do you believe in soulmates?  Do you believe you have found or come across your soulmate?  Leave a comment and join the discussion!

I’m starting a new series this week…  Unconditional Love.  I want to ask you guys what you think about some things that would generally be deal breakers when it came being in a relationship.  And lets find out if we can find a way to make these deal breakers work or should they stay deal breakers.

Our first discussion topics is can people of a different faith make it work? 

Now you have two people.   We’ll say a Muslim and a Christian.  I don’t know the Muslim faith well so I can’t really say what they believe in.  Can these two really make a relationship work?  I mean aside from the obivious differences in the religions.  Doesn’t this seem like a realtionship doomed for argument?  

Practical things seem like they would become huge issues.  Like how are the kids going to be raised?  What do we do on Sunday?  Somebody might not be willing to give up that pork…lol

But my big thing comes to tithing.  Again I don’t know anything about Muslim faith, but I’m only assuming they don’t following tithing like a Christian would.  As a man of the Christian faith, I believe tithing is critical.  But what happens when funds get low and I’m willing to tithe before I pay my mortgage.  Now if I’m with a person of a different faith that may cause a problem.  Because tithing was okay with her until money got scarce, now it’s just an unneccessary expense.  And seeing as how most divorce happens over money, that seems like one in the making. 

So how would we make it work?  Can we make it work?  Can people of different faiths make it work?

What if it wasn’t something similar like Judiasm and Christianity?  What if it were a Christian and a Devil Worshipper?   Could they make it work?  Let me know what you think.

-Trillionaire Wood

Boy meets girl. 

Girl says she is single.

Girl is a lie.

Whenever you meet someone, and you seem to hit it off, always remember that you’re not the only one.  There is someone else in the picture.  If there isn’t someone else in the picture, there better be a good reason why that person doesn’t have anyone pursuing them… either that or you holla’d at a boogerwolf.

Who exactly is in the picture?  Glad you asked:

The Ex – Maybe he or she is getting over a breakup, but that ex is still in the picture in some way. 

The Boo – I hate this term by the way, but a lot of females I’ve run into like to use this term as the 2009-2010 version of someone who isn’t necessarily their boyfriend, but they’re still dating.  Any heterosexual guy doesn’t use this term by the way.  Women say boo.  Men say jump-off.

The Boyfriend/Girlfriend – Speaks for itself.  And just because they’re going through a “rough patch,” doesn’t negate the fact that they have a s/o.

The Pursuer/Friend – This holds true for women more so.  Every woman has at least one man who is pursuing her at all times.  She just got off the phone with him… and gave you her number an hour later.  Nothing wrong with that.  Just know that he’s there.  I would also like to add that 99% of men in the infamous friend zone started out as pursuers.

So what am I saying?  At any given time, you are in competition with at least one other person.  You start out as an option hoping to get chosen. 

To the readers out there, are you aware that you’re not the only one?  Are you comfortable with that fact?  Are you willing to compete?

Well your nerds have decided to do their own version of Black in America (shouts out to Soledad O’Brien)…

Our first entry basically aims to dispel some of the lies that black people have told themselves since the days we sang (yes I said sang) Negro spirituals outside the church.

1.  In the words of Ced from The Barbershop,  “OJ did it”.  Yeah I said it.  If you’ll beat a woman, you’ll kill a woman.  I can’t believe this fool broke the law again after all we’ve done to stand behind him.

2.  We are more racist than white people.  (later on this week we will talk about whether or not black people can be racist).  So let me say it like this, we sterotype more than other races.   We do it a lot when it come to our own race.

3.  For the young people being hood is neither cool or the norm.  I don’t know about you, but for half my childhood I grew up in the hood.   Then we move “out there ’round them white peoples” and trust me the hood is not better.  I like a clean neighborhood without crime.   And in the words of one of my favorite rapper’s 607… “you ain’t real cause you grew up po’ (poor)”.

4.  Being hated on is not a good thing.  I mean don’t get me wrong you are going to have haters.  And it is probably a sign you are doing something good.  But don’t relish in the fact you have haters.  Make it your mission to better mankind so people don’t hate on each other.   I listen to rappers today and they act like it’s a good thing other people want to KILL them.  That is insane!  I don’t want people to kill me because I’m doing well.  That’s nothing to be proud of.

5. We like buffoonery.  That is the only way shows like Flavor, New York, Real and Chance, Cupid and all those other love shows stay on the air.  And for a special pungent brew let me throw in a dash of BET and some Georgia Peaches from the Real House wives of Atlanta.

First dates suck. 

You take this big risk, get dressed up, and do all of this planning to get to know a person who actually isn’t even showing up to the date (shout out to 1^st date representatives)!  If you go to the movies, you can’t actually converse with your date.  You don’t want to simp spend a lot of money on an expensive dinner.  You want to think outside of the box and do something different without being thought of as weird.  Really… who wants to play paintball on a first date? 

There is an easy solution to this:  The Pre-Date.

It’s so brilliant!  I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before!  A Pre-Date works like this:  You meet up and do something casual just to see if you would like to continue on to an actual 1^st date.  There is no pressure on the man to pay or leave his wallet at home accidentally.  Just do something casual, and go Dutch. The something casual could be something as simple as meeting for drinks after work.  You can get all of the awkward, preliminary 1^st date questions out of the way… Questions such as, “So, what’s your plan for the next 5 years?  Do you plan on getting married? Have you ever, out of your own free will, done crack? Swallow much?”  It’s also a great opportunity to see if you have any kind of chemistry.  And if you hit it off?  Congratulations!  You have successfully completed and qualified during the application/pre-screening process.  You will now be granted an interview… and we all know how much we lie exaggerate in interviews.

Here are some great ideas for a Pre-Date:

1)  Happy Hour/Drinks After Work – Not only do you get alcohol, but you get to see if they really have a job or not.  Plus a drink or two can allow both of you to relax.

2) Coffee Shop – Same as happy hour but minus the booze.

3) Lunch – Before deciding on going to dinner, why not have lunch?  Just like meeting for drinks after work, it’s a great way to see someone in their element. 

So, to everyone out there, what are some other good ideas for a Pre-Date?

Tired of falling for the okey-doke?  One of those guys who continually falls into the abysmal Friend Zone?  Don’t know when to give up or when she’s playing hard to get?

Today’s post is for you.

Ahh, the age old debate of simping vs. pursuing.  When are you simping on a woman?  When is it just good, old fashioned persistence?  Let’s break it down:

Simping can go so many different ways and be so many different things, but I believe it boils down to two things:

1) You’re going out of your way and doing things for a female who has no interest in you whatsoever OR

2) You’re being coerced into going out of your way and doing things for a female who has no interest in you whatsoever.. i.e. Falling for game…

Some would say that tricking is simping. I say, yeah, if you’re just an average 9-5 working guy. Average 9-5 working guys take ladies out to dinner & a movie. When your bank account allows you to do whatever the f— you want to do, then average things for you seem outlandish to the average 9-5 working guy. A rich guy’s dinner & a movie may be flying a chick he just met out to Miami for dinner, a movie, and shopping. ;o)

Persistence, on the other hand, is just that… persistence. You actually have a shot, but you have to work for it. You have a fighting chance, but you have to be smart at the same time. A female with good game can show just enough interest (in order to get what she wants) and have you thinking you’re in Persistenceville… when you’re actually in Simptropolis. Persistence is, “I just called to hear your voice and see how your day was going.” Simping is, “I had a good time on our date, which you seemed to not enjoy… so can I pay your phone bill?”

“But, SouthernCharm,” you ask,  “How do you know when it’s just her playing hard to get where you should stay being persistant or when you’ve went to Simptropolis and became her attention whore. Because tricking may not come in the form of money. You could just be that dude that tickles her fancy.”

Ahh, good question, sport.  See, that’s when intentions come into play. Those with the best game are the best at hiding their intentions. Whenever you do something nice for a female, she’s thinking, “What are his intentions? Is he really sweet or just doing this to get closer to the booty?” Whenever a female shows interest, we think, “Is she really feeling me or is she trying to get something out of me?”

Example: We’re at Kotos. Ricco is talking to his homegirl. It’s her birthday. He buys her a drink. Her sloppy drunk, top-heavy, exotic-looking friend insists… not asks… but insists that he buys the crew her a drink. She saw him buy her a drink, and pounced on the opportunity. Her intentions were clear. Ricco sees through it & stiff arms her… 2 hours later, same chick is being carried out of the establishment.

Getting back to your original question. When you meet someone, you have to assume that there is at least one person they are either involved with, who is in the picture, or who is pursuing them along with you. Persistence is doing something to stand out from whoever is in the picture already. But persistence pays off. Simping is like the horse chasing the carrot. If I meet a chick, we spend a lot of time on the phone, but she’s never available… red flag. If we spend time here and there, but there’s no physical interest shown… red flag.

Sometime it’s as simple as, “Yo I think you’re a good looking person. You seem cool. Let’s get to know each other better.” The end result is sex, a relationship, or, “You know what? You’re cool but not as cool/good looking/successful as I would like… so I’m going to look for an upgrade.” The games come into play when you look for an upgrade while keeping that person at arm’s length.

“But, SC,” again you say, “What do you mean by, “If we spend time here and there, but there’s no physical interest shown… red flag.”???

I’ll let Ricco, bring it home:

I think SC’s made some great points about distinguishing between the land of “simptropolis” and “persistenceville.” Admittedly, the lines can be very blurry and even the best playa has unwittengly been caught on the wrong side of the tracks during his lifetime.

I think SC makes a good point about spending lots of time together, but there’s no phyical contact. Physical/sensual contact is likely the most important distinction between being “just a friend” and being “something more” (especially at our age). If there is no show of physical contact (could be as simple as holding hands or a peck on the cheek, doesn’t have to be straight to the sheets), you should be wary about being on the road to simptropolis. This doesn’t mean that on the first date, you guys should be trying to get busy in the backseat, but its something you gotta gauge.