1. You pay for a degree graduate and earn your degree. As soon as you get your degree though, you find out that you need more experience.
2. Anyone 18 or younger all of sudden looks like a baby. If you’re over 25, anyone under 25 looks like a baby.
3. You make it through 4-5 years of undegrad, complete with all-night/morning study & cram sessions, without becoming a coffee or caffeine addict. After 3-6 months of staying out til 3:00 A.M., coffee & caffeine are like cocaine… and you’re Charlie Sheen.
4. Your goal is to be a millionaire, or at least a thousandaire, by age 30. Yet, you don’t own one business. Upon realizing this, you experience what is known as the quarter-life crisis.
5. In the club a social setting, your checklist went something like this: booty, breasts, face. Now it’s booty, breasts, face, ring finger.
6. Your parents start to make sense in a lot ways.
7. Your parents stop making sense in a lot of ways.
8. If it wasn’t relevant beforehand, local, national, and/or world news is now relevant to you.
9. Virgins exist in an alternate reality where machines have taken over the world, harvesting human body heat for power, and suduing their minds through a simulated reality called The Matrix. Also, in this alternate reality, all black women with four-year philosophy degrees have successful, degree’d-up husbands with Insanity/P90X bodies, Paul Pierce has the sharpest shape up in America, all jobs start out at $100K, and Kobe Bryant is only known as a dish on the menu of a Japanese Steakhouse.
10. If you do listen to the radio, then it’s mostly talk radio and morning shows.
11. You realize it’s not the end of the world if you don’t go out on the weekend.
12. You learn the true value of sleep.
13. Somebody you know gets married every week.
14. You realize you’re not invincible
15. Cheap liquor takes a much worse toll on your body.
16. Fighting becomes a last resort.
17. Post-grad Greek life means nothing unless you’re lame.
18. You think about how you would whoop other peoples kids you see them acting crazy in public.
19. Rocking the homeless-Professor look from Goodwill is a better look than wearing Fubu, Phat Farm, Coogi, Ecko, or any kind of urban wear.
20. At 18-19 yrs old, your requirements for dating someone included whether they had their own car or not. At 20-something, your requirements include a 401k and benefits.
21. Reading has become a form of entertainment.
22. You’re old enough to be considered an adult, but young enough to not be considered, “old.” This is awkward, and is the main reason for bad decisions made, “because I was young and just having fun.” See: Lindsey Lohan.