Tag Archives: Barney Stinson

Must See TV

These days, there are reality shows everywhere.  It seems as if everyone has a reality show… even people I’ve never heard of.

Pretty Wild?  Ummmm no!

Kendra?  Who the heck is Kendra?

Real Chance of Love?  So  you want to watch the average lame dude in the club and the stunt double for the black guy from Twilight… but with a perm… search through a group of opportunists ladies to find love?

What happened to good television?  What happened to something that has an actual plot?  Storyline?  Irony?  I thought TV was supposed to be a form of escapism.  Why would I want to escape watching someone else live THEIR lives?  No, thanks.  I’d rather post up and do some actual people watching.

Still, all hope isn’t lost.  I present to you a list of shows that still make great television.  For now, we’ll just stick with sitcoms:

The Office

How I Met Your Mother:

Robot Chicken:

These are just a few. What say you?  Name some other slept-on TV shows.  Feel free to drop a Youtube link!

-SouthernCharm

Attraction-Harassment Scale

nice guy bad guy Attraction Harassment Scale

 So you are at work, and Jimmy the office “nice guy” comes over to say good morning.  This is probably the hardest part of your day.  Now Jimmy’s a good guy, but you’re just not attracted to him.  And he usually lingers a little too long when he hugs you.  Well one day Jimmy takes your kind hug as his entry into trying something a little further.  Maybe he decides to tell you, “you look really nice” or “he wants to take you on a date”.  Now if you are a rational creature you will tell him politely no and hopefully it doesn’t ruin the office place acquaintance.  Or you could be crazy as a loon and call sexual harassment on him. 

 Then you have Kent.  Kent is the office Brad Pitt/Hottie/Slut.  Well one night you and Kent are working late and he decides he’s going to try to have his way with you.  Next thing you know, the copy machine is taking full color photos of your neither region.

 Now how is it that possible that two of your co-workers can approach in two different ways and get inexplicable results?  One guy almost gets a face full of pepper spray while being respectful and the other gets a chance to make a fond memory at the copy machine by treating you like dirt. 

 Well it’s a little thing I like to call the Attraction-Harassment scale. 

 Note: Don’t try to take it.  It’s already copyrighted.

  Attraction Harassment Scale

  

 There is basically an inverse relationship between how attracted you are to a person and how you gauge their actions towards you. 

 In other words… The uglier a person is to you, the less you will let them get away with. 

 It is derived from the Crazy-Hot scale from the show How I Met Your Mother?.  I love that show.  Barney Stinson for President!

 You see it all the time in your daily life…

1. Regular dude sends a drink.  Girl takes it and pays him no mind.  Rich guy sends a bottle.  Girl goes home with rich guy.

2. Girl attracted to a guy plays hard to get, and guy engages her in said game.  Girl not attracted to guy “pursuing” claims he’s a bug-a-boo/stalker.

 So give me an example of your Attraction-Harassment episodes.  Do you think the scale is right?

Things My White Friends Have Put Me Onto…

asherroth Things My White Friends Have Put Me Onto...

You know what?  Once you get past slavery, Jim Crow, blank stares when you walk into an all white establishment, and Republicans… white people are pretty cool.  My white friends have put me on to a lot of things that not only enhance my kickin’ it, but have opened my eyes to a lot of cool things I otherwise didn’t know existed. 

And you know what?  I like it!  I mean being a black male is hard enough, but trying to be black?  That’s a full time job with part time benefits.  It’s too hard, it’s closed-minded, and it’s fake to say the least.  Why should I have to walk around with a mean-mug on, lookin’ like I got the bitter-beer-face 24-7 while listening to nothing but DMX, Gucci Mane, and Maino?  Why should I have to drink glorified kool aid grape drink and Tampico thinking I’m really getting vitamins & minerals?  Why should Tiny & Toya, Real Chance of Love, and 106 & Park be my must-see-TV?  Oh no, sir!  I need variety.  It’s not about being black.  It’s about being a well-rounded person. 

So today is my ode to a few things white people have put me on… things that I thoroughly enjoy:

1) Jager Bombs – It’s Jagermeister.  It’s Red Bull.  You can’t lose with that.  Jagermeister actually tastes better than Patron, and it’s more potent!

2) How I Met Your Mother – This show is hilariousness.  I’m thoroughly convinced that Goldy or Iceberg Slim imparted all of their knowledge into Barney Stinson. 

3) Judd Apatow – The director of Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Funny People, etc. 

4) Irish Coffee – It can wake you up and cure/cause a hangover.

5) Bars – When you get a table at the club, it’s usually in VIP.  When you get a table at the bar, it’s free.  And it’s the perfect balance of drinking, dancing if you want to, mingling, or just chilling with whoever you came with.

These are just a few of mine.  Name a few things your white friends have put you on…