You know… at some point, in life, you have to grow up. There are certain people you have to disassociate with, and certain places, where said people congregate, that you have to stop going to. One of these places is the club.
I’m not talking about being uppity. It’s not that you went and got that certificate from ITT, and now you wanna go acting all brand new. No, you simply have to grow up. As you continue to grow, mature, and move up in life, your future gets brighter. You have goals. You have aspirations. Some people have families to take care of. It’s not that you’re too good to certain places. You just have a future, and don’t want to throw it away by putting yourself in certain situations that can be avoided.
One of these situations is the club.
But what constitutes an establishment as “the club?” Glad you asked…
1) You can wear Jordans and get in.
2) When you leave at 3:00 A.M., you smell like kush, Newports, and malt liquor.
3) “Down For My N***as,” by C-Murdah, is still in regular rotation there.
4) C-Murdah himself, and his look-a-likes, are still in regular rotation there.
5) The women have tattoos… on their faces.
These types of places may have been fun when you were younger. They’re cheap to get in. The drinks are cheap. You can still pick up a woman wearing FUBU Platinum. But as you continue to grow, then chances are you want to be around and socialize with like-minded people. Chances are you would want to talk to a woman with standards higher than clean Air Force One’s and Coogi. You also wouldn’t want to put yourself in situations where you end up getting robbed or going to jail (because you got in a fight stepping on some random dude’s Pumas) on some bull.
What do you think? What are some other characteristics of “the club?”
As we grow older, a lot of things we once valued aren’t as valuable to us as they once were. The way we thought the world works isn’t exactly how the world works. Is it that we have lost faith, or do we just see things for how they really are?
Being popular is more important than being smart… how silly of me.
Having things is more important than having assets… how silly of me.
Not realizing every mistake or sin is fear-based… how silly of me.
Trying to change people rather than being the change I want to see… how silly of me.
What have you realized that you have been silly of? How do you see the world now compared to when you were 18? 21?
*The soundtrack for today’s post is, “How Silly of Me,” by artist 607 (one half of the duo, earFear). You can hear more here.
But, for the sake of argument, let’s just say you’re at the club.
You walk around. You’re having a good time. You decide to hit the dance floor… upon which you witness the following (WARNING: Turn your speakers down. This video contains profanity):
A friend of mine was going through some emails, and found an OLD poem I wrote over 5 years ago. I decided to share it with y’all. Check it out… *Ahem:
IF I curse does that mean I’m perceived as bad in your eyes,
When you’re just as profane in your actions?
But you know what they say, image is everything,
So I choose to live for the satisfaction
Of the God who created me in His image
Forget your reaction
IF you can’t seem to get in touch with me,
Maybe it’s not you, but my own problems I’m avoiding through solitude,
But since you’re the victim you call it rude
And though all is true,
You don’t even bother to leave a simple message on the voicemail,
So what reason do I have for calling you?
IF a girl has sex with many guys, is she a hoe?
I say no
See I debated… with a girl on this
And found a common ground where we related,
See a hoe has a pimp who collects figgaz,
And some girls pimp themselves, you know, gold-diggaz
So I figga’d, If you’re a girl who gives up the butt for free, not a fee,
Or a male who cuts because it takes two for such…
Then the politically correct term for you is a slut
IF you’re a female who claims to get along better with males than your
own gender,
Then what does that really say about you, sister?
Cause you’ll contradict and say all men are dogs
And if that fits me, of course I’ma go along, to get along, get you
home, and get a bone
Don’t get me wrong,
I’m just saying what I see in your attitude
So the proper gratitude is to admit the truth and change
Cause if we all did that, being normal wouldn’t be so strange
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re far too kiiiiiind!
These days, there are reality shows everywhere. It seems as if everyone has a reality show… even people I’ve never heard of.
Pretty Wild? Ummmm no!
Kendra? Who the heck is Kendra?
Real Chance of Love? So you want to watch the average lame dude in the club and the stunt double for the black guy from Twilight… but with a perm… search through a group of opportunists ladies to find love?
What happened to good television? What happened to something that has an actual plot? Storyline? Irony? I thought TV was supposed to be a form of escapism. Why would I want to escape watching someone else live THEIR lives? No, thanks. I’d rather post up and do some actual people watching.
Still, all hope isn’t lost. I present to you a list of shows that still make great television. For now, we’ll just stick with sitcoms:
The Office
How I Met Your Mother:
Robot Chicken:
These are just a few. What say you? Name some other slept-on TV shows. Feel free to drop a Youtube link!
Posted by SouthernCharm on Mar 17, 2010 in Uncategorized
Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl begin dating, “talking,” if you will…
After a few dates, weeks, etc, boy and girl are feelin’ each other. There’s a connection.
Boy and girl go from talking a few times a week, to wake-up calls, talking during the commute to work/class, at lunch, after work, and 3 hours before bed. That’s not even taking into account the random texts throughout the day about paint drying on the wall.
This continues, and boy and girl get used to this pattern of communication.
Boy or girl breaks this pattern. 9.9 times out of 10, it’s usually boy who breaks this pattern.
Boo-boo hits the fan.
You know how you begin dating/talking to someone, and you get used to hearing from them everyday? Despite the fact that there is no relationship, or any semblance thereof, even established? I like to call it the subconscious pattern of communication. It’s when a pattern begins where you communicate with your flavor of the month daily, and therefore you expect this pattern to continue. The problem with this subconscious pattern of communication lies exactly in the name: It’s subconscious, and last time I checked we couldn’t read minds. We subconsciously expect to talk to a certain person everyday, yet we haven’t even established where the situation is going. We just assume to hear from them.
And we all know assumption’s gub’ment first name is Azz.
When that pattern is broken, all kinds of 2012 type chaos occurs. “Why didn’t he/she text me during lunch? We normally talk before we go to sleep, but I never got a call.” Etc. The truth is that while we were subconsciously developing this pattern of communication, what we were really doing was developing feelings. We start becoming used to that person. We expect to hear from them. It’s like this pattern of communication is really some type of quasi-relationship.
At the point that the calls become less frequent, and you don’t get as many texts, what do you do? My guess is that there’s usually an altar call… you know, that “Where is this going,” type of conversation.
My question is this… what do you do when you realize you’re becoming used to a person? How do you handle it? Is it healthy? Should you expect to hear from someone and get mad when you don’t EVEN THOUGH you haven’t really established how often you would like to hear from them?
So… You get home from work and go through the motions daily routine of talking to your significant other (whether on the phone or in person). You get the redundant, expected info from her about her day: Irritating co-worker, what she had for lunch, blah, blah, blah, etc. She’s on her spill when all of a sudden, she stops mid-sentence to say, “Oh, and guess who tried to holla at me today?”
Homer Simpson: Urge to kill… rising.
She then continues to go on about some gold-grill, extra crisply, Jerome-looking guy smelling like Sex Panther, who tried to talk to her. She goes on about how lame he looked, the corny things he said, blah, blah, blah, etc. Then she goes into the spill of how she turned him down and how she “HAS A MAN.”
Biggest backhanded compliment ever…
Guess what ladies? We don’t wanna hear that sh**!
Why? Glad you asked. Cue up Earth, Wind, & Fire. These are the reasons:
1. We know you’re frontin! Sure, you’re quick to complain and point out the Roland Martin lookin’ dude who tried to get at you… You tell us because you want us to get in the amen-corner with you on how he would have the audacity to even talk to you. You feel he’s almost beneath you in a sense. We understand. Good for you. A woman will be quick to mention to her man the uber-lame guys who approached her… but would you mention that Idris-Morris-Kodjoe-Bush (or whoever y’all ogle over nowadays) pulled up in a Ferrari, lavished you with compliments, and wanted to take you out? Would you mention that for a second you thought about giving him the draws number, before turning him down because you have a man? Exactly.
2. We’re men. We already know these things. So you’re mad that some guy approached you in Walmart while your hair was pinned back/in a scarf, you had on sweats, and were in straight up lounge mode? It’s a well known fact that men like azz. And azz, last time I checked, looks especially great in sweat pants. So I guess you could say… We’ll holla at anything! You look like a clone of Macy Gray & Esther Role in the face, but got a fatty? Holla! Holla! Holla! No makeup on and buckshots in your head? We’re not trying to smash your buckshots! Aunt Flo just came in town, you’re feeling bloated, and rockin’ one your worst fits? Lemme get that nummmmba! It’s a well known fact that every woman gets stared at, approached, commented on, glared at, etc, at least 2.5 times a day.
3. Do you need a compliment? Maybe your man doesn’t give you enough compliments. Maybe he’s starting to take you for granted. So casually letting him know that another guy wants you is letting him know that he needs to step his game up. You could just let him know directly, but that would be too much like right.
4. You can dish it out, but can’t take it. We don’t even have to mention Beyonce groped us in the elevator this morning. All we have to do is mention how that sweater you bought us caused Precious to give us the effdashytouttayou eye… and you’ll be ready to cut her!
So, ladies, remember this next time you think about telling your guy about who tried to holla at you. We know we’re not the only guy who finds you attractive. We just like to believe we are. Stroke that ego, baby! Stroke that ego!
So I’m wondering…
Is there a such thing as a soulmate,
Or is it a lemon dream that somebody sold me?
Is there a person whom God destined for me
Since I came out the womb and took my first steps like a probate?
Is it a fad or a gimmick?
If she’s at some type of party, church service, some type of function… I’m in it
I wonder how in the world can we be kindred spirits
When we both grown as h*ll and ain’t ever been out the city limits?!?!
Is there a such thing as a soulmate,
Or is it a lemon dream that somebody sold me?
It gets “cumber” with “some”
How can a lady be my earth when there ain’t nothing new under the sun?’
So if she’s the one that got away or, rather, she skidaddle’d
How do I know there ain’t three more like her somewhere in Seattle?
Perhaps she has a clone in Rome, or most certainly
A South African look-a-like, a doppelganger in Germany
I’m saying… is there a such thing as a soulmate,
Or is it a lemon dream that somebody sold me?
I guess the question’s rhetorical for the moment
Just my ramblings at 4:36 in the morning…
What do you think? Do you believe in soulmates? Do you believe you have found or come across your soulmate? Leave a comment and join the discussion!
Posted by SouthernCharm on Jan 25, 2010 in Uncategorized
It’s been a long time… we shouldn’t have left you… without a dope post to skim through…
To all of our readers, we apologize for the long hiatus. It has been a while since our last post. Life has been busy, but we’re back!
Truth is… SouthernCharm spent the better half of January looking for a new laptop, and Trillionaire Wood got tired of keeping the site going daily.
Anywho… one of the things that has been on my mind lately is the theme of this site: Nerds at the Cool Table. What exactly is a nerd? What makes one a nerd at the cool table?
Growing up, someone was considered a nerd if they were smart and actually proud of it. A nerd was someone who enjoyed learning new things, reading, etc. A nerd may have been the smartest kid in the class/school. A nerd may have consistently and habitually overachieved.
But what makes one a nerd today? Can a “grown” person be a nerd?
Which brings us to being a nerd at the cool table. To me, a nerd at the cool table is smart person with confidence… swag if you want to call it that…
By the way, is it me or is “swag” over-used like Kim Kardashian from 2003-2008? I’m currently taking nominations for words to replace “swag.”
Also, when I think of a nerd at the cool table, I think of people like Lupe Fiasco, Pharrell, Stringer Bell, Nas from Belly, Barack Obama, Rosario Dawson, etc.
However, I think we need a little more clarity. What makes a cool nerd/nerd at the cool table?
1. You’re Fashionable -You love a nice pair of Chucks, Ralph Lauren is such a staple in your closet that your friends refer to you as “Polo Da Don,” or you’re a chick with a meaaaan heel game… and you thoroughly understand DuBois’ Souls of Black Folks.
2. You’re Socially Conscious – You know how to jerk, do the stanky leg, know Pants on the Ground word-for-word, and For the Love of Ray-J is your guilty pleasure… but you also enjoy some good Sinatra, Myth Busters, or a good program on the History Channel.
3. You’re Hip to Technology – Internet Explorer? Who the eff uses that? Flip phone = Zack Morris phone… and you have an app that determines if you’re too intoxicated to drive.
4. You Can Easily Blend In – You’ve written a thorough report on the new system your company is implementing, gave a presentation on it, spent your downtime at work browsing hedge funds, capital gains, progressive income taxes, Teddy Roosevelt, and World War I on Wikipedia. When you get off, you grab a fifth of Crown from the L-store, and head over to your boy’s crib in the hood (not the hood-hood) to get on some Spades while discussing the finer points of Tahiry’s azzets.
So as we gather around the cool table, what do you think? What else makes someone a nerd at the cool table/cool nerd? Is being a cool nerd the new trend?
It’s been a while since our last post, but it’s a new year & a new decade. We have big things in store for this year, so continue checking us out daily (and subscribing) to witness greatness in action.
Before we hit you with the money shot that is all this greatness, it’s only right that we reflect on the previous decade. What’s the best way to do that?
With lists of course!
So today, at the Cool Table, we present to you the best & worst of the decade!
Best Hip Hop Album: College Dropout. And we’re not just saying that because Entertainment Weekly said so. Kanye’s debut album was the reincarnation of Tribe Called Quest & De La Soul. It made it cool once again to be the everyday, average, black guy without a jail record, who wasn’t doing drive-by’s while flipping 200 ki’s in a song. He was the precursor of the Drakes, Kid Cudis, Cool Kids, and J Coles of today.
Company of the Decade: Google. Google is worth billions in stocks, but isn’t really worth anything tangible on paper. They’re just a huge advertising company. But as of today, they’re simultaneously giving Microsoft and Apple a run for their money… and they can tell you what you had for breakfast this morning. Beware of big bro…
Chick who ran ish this decade: Beyonce. She can sing, dance, halfway act, yodel, and probably hook up a batch of chicken spaghetti at the same time. Women love her. Guys want to be with her. A few ghey guys probably want to be her.
NBA Team of the decade: Lakers. L.A. had 4 titles this previous decade. The Spurs have 3. Miami has 1. Detroit has 1. Boston has 1. Lakers win by default.
NFL Team of the decade: Colts. I know. I know. Patriots this…. Steelers that… but I’m a Colts fan, so I’m going to hijack and enjoy our one title last decade this moment.
MLB Team of the decade: Red Sox. I’m a Yankees fan, but the Red Sox overcame the Babe Ruth curse… and won again.
Best hustle: Kim Kardashian. Judy from Family Matters parlayed a stint on a sitcom into a p.orn career. Kim Kardashian parlayed a stint in doggystyle into a sitcom. It’s the American dream in action!
Greatest moment of the decade: Obama. Nuff said.
Worst moment of the decade: September 11, 2001. Katrina comes in 2nd with an Epic fail on the government’s part.
Do you agree? Disagree? What would you recommend for best rock album of the decade? Worst person of the decade? Best website? Epic fail of the decade?
