In 2011, you should never get a response like this.
If you have been on twitter for a while, then you may have heard the words, “thirst,” “thirsty,” or, “curve.” These terms may be foreign to you now, but we practice the meaning behind these words almost everyday. Today, we have decided to break this slang down so that you won’t be naked out there in the world… or end up naked and blaming someone else other than yourself.
Fact: The thirst is real.
What exactly is, “thirst,” or, “being thirsty?”
Thirst – the act of exhibiting blatant or subtle desperation for the attention, recognition, validation, or affection of another; in a sober state, the act may or may not be direct; in an inebriated state, the act is direct, aggressive, and forthright; at the root of “thirst” is horniness, and it can only be combated with a “curve.”
What exactly is “the curve?“
Curve – the act of combating blatant or subtle desperation for the attention, recognition, validation, or affection of another; a curve is most often indirect, but the meaning behind it is always implied; the things women or men say and do to avoid someone who is interested in them.
But how do I know what the thirst looks like? How do I know when I’m being curved? Ahh, glad you asked. Here are some examples:
Situation 1: You see a random girl on Twitter who you find attractive:
You: @sanctified_sexxi_mami is looking good in that profile pic. (Thirst)
She replies: Awww, thx boo (Curve)
Breakdown: Upon reading your halfway creepy tweet, she immediately goes to check your profile. If she finds you attractive, it’s flattering. If she’s not interested, it’s creepy. She’s not interested. In order to help you out, let you down easy, and be cordial, she just says, “Thanks boo.” She says, “boo,” to everybody though. You’ve been curved.
Situation 2: You meet a girl, and go out on a date. The date wasn’t bad, but you’re not sure if it was just great either. A day after the date, you decide to call or text girl and see how she’s doing. No response. A couple of days pass, and you decide to give it another try. You text her that morning:
You: “Good morning. Had a cool time when we went out. Hopefully we can hang out again. Hope you have a good day today.”
Her: (5 hours later) Hi Friend! Thx. (Curve).
Breakdown: Well, friend, you’ve just been curved. Anytime a woman says, “Hi friend,” it means you have been friend-zoned into the outermost realms of friend-zonededness.
Situation 3: 97% of women who go to NBA All-Star Weekend… give 3%. With turkey basters tucked away neatly in their clutch handbags, these women have a 3 step plan: 1) Land a baller. Any baller. Delonte West will do. 2) Get pregnant. 3) Land on Season 8 of Basketball Wives, officially launching their brand.
Situation 4: You’ve been chasing or in the friend zone interested in a certain young lady for quite a while. She’s not interested you, but continually “curves” you. However, as years go by, the tables turn. She added 50 lbs to her 5’3 frame, and you now look like Dwight Howard in the shoulders. She sees you out one night. You both speak. Her interest is peaked. You almost throw up. One day, you get a random text:
Her: Wow you lost a lot of weight. You look really good now. We should kick it some time. I really want to know how you changed your body so much. I really need a workout buddy. (Thirst)
You: Yeah, hit me up on Facebook and we’ll make it happen. (Curve)
What about you? Name some times where you may have “curved” or been given the “curve.”