Category Archives: Clear People

America… You got Punk’d!

art father son kusa America... You got Punkd!

I’m glad I didn’t climb in any weather balloons when I was six. 

A balloon?  Really?

So, apparently a 6 year old boy climbed aboard a hot-air, weather balloon… and the balloon took off.  The parents panicked, and they called the police.  About 20 major news networks, the National Guard, and countless volunteers later… 6 year old Falcon was finally found… in the attic… he was sleep.

I’m speechless.  I don’t know what to say. 

My mom, who was watching the family getting interviewed on Larry King, was pretty upset.  She was happy that the boy, Falcon (WTF kind of name is that?), was found.  But she was upset at the fact that the parents were calling his name in the house while $4600/hr helicopters followed this balloon around, believing him to be on it.  When you really think about it, he wasn’t on top of the balloon.  He couldn’t have survived inside the balloon.  So really, we were captivated by a… well… balloon!

Mom said she would have tore him up… and not just a regular whoopin spanking.  I mean one of those pause-between-the-hits spankings like, “Didn’t.(bam)You.(bam)Hear.(bam)Me.(bam)Calling(bam)Your(bam)Name(bam)???????”  Then she said she would have got him again every time she thought about it.  Like, you’re in the middle of church and she has a Vietnam War flashback and comes up side your head! 

I’m glad I didn’t climb in any weather balloons when I was six.

Things My White Friends Have Put Me Onto…

asherroth Things My White Friends Have Put Me Onto...

You know what?  Once you get past slavery, Jim Crow, blank stares when you walk into an all white establishment, and Republicans… white people are pretty cool.  My white friends have put me on to a lot of things that not only enhance my kickin’ it, but have opened my eyes to a lot of cool things I otherwise didn’t know existed. 

And you know what?  I like it!  I mean being a black male is hard enough, but trying to be black?  That’s a full time job with part time benefits.  It’s too hard, it’s closed-minded, and it’s fake to say the least.  Why should I have to walk around with a mean-mug on, lookin’ like I got the bitter-beer-face 24-7 while listening to nothing but DMX, Gucci Mane, and Maino?  Why should I have to drink glorified kool aid grape drink and Tampico thinking I’m really getting vitamins & minerals?  Why should Tiny & Toya, Real Chance of Love, and 106 & Park be my must-see-TV?  Oh no, sir!  I need variety.  It’s not about being black.  It’s about being a well-rounded person. 

So today is my ode to a few things white people have put me on… things that I thoroughly enjoy:

1) Jager Bombs – It’s Jagermeister.  It’s Red Bull.  You can’t lose with that.  Jagermeister actually tastes better than Patron, and it’s more potent!

2) How I Met Your Mother – This show is hilariousness.  I’m thoroughly convinced that Goldy or Iceberg Slim imparted all of their knowledge into Barney Stinson. 

3) Judd Apatow – The director of Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Funny People, etc. 

4) Irish Coffee – It can wake you up and cure/cause a hangover.

5) Bars – When you get a table at the club, it’s usually in VIP.  When you get a table at the bar, it’s free.  And it’s the perfect balance of drinking, dancing if you want to, mingling, or just chilling with whoever you came with.

These are just a few of mine.  Name a few things your white friends have put you on…