Sitting by the Phone: The Subconscious Pattern

waiting for the phone to ring 200x300 Sitting by the Phone: The Subconscious Pattern

Boy meets girl.

Boy and girl begin dating, “talking,” if you will…

After a few dates, weeks, etc, boy and girl are feelin’ each other.  There’s a connection.

Boy and girl go from talking a few times a week, to wake-up calls, talking during the commute to work/class, at lunch, after work, and 3 hours before bed.  That’s not even taking into account the random texts throughout the day about paint drying on the wall.

This continues, and boy and girl get used to this pattern of communication.

Boy or girl breaks this pattern.  9.9 times out of 10, it’s usually boy who breaks this pattern.

Boo-boo hits the fan.

You know how you begin dating/talking to someone, and you get used to hearing from them everyday?  Despite the fact that there is no relationship, or any semblance thereof, even established?  I like to call it the subconscious pattern of communication.  It’s when a pattern begins where you communicate with your flavor of the month daily, and therefore you expect this pattern to continue.  The problem with this subconscious pattern of communication lies exactly in the name:  It’s subconscious, and last time I checked we couldn’t read minds.  We subconsciously expect to talk to a certain person everyday, yet we haven’t even established where the situation is going.  We just assume to hear from them.

And we all know assumption’s gub’ment first name is Azz.

When that pattern is broken, all kinds of 2012 type chaos occurs.  “Why didn’t he/she text me during lunch?  We normally talk before we go to sleep, but I never got a call.”  Etc.  The truth is that while we were subconsciously developing this pattern of communication, what we were really doing was developing feelings.  We start becoming used to that person.  We expect to hear from them.  It’s like this pattern of communication is really some type of quasi-relationship.

At the point that the calls become less frequent, and you don’t get as many texts, what do you do?  My guess is that there’s usually an altar call… you know, that “Where is this going,” type of conversation.

My question is this… what do you do when you realize you’re becoming used to a person?  How do you handle it?  Is it healthy?  Should you expect to hear from someone and get mad when you don’t EVEN THOUGH you haven’t really established how often you would like to hear from them?