Now I Ain’t Sayin’ He a Gold Digger, Actually I Am

jonathan plummer Now I Aint Sayin He a Gold Digger, Actually I Am 

And ode to the great African-American Gigolo , Jonathan Plummer.

 I can’t believe she didn’t see that.  I mean he looks like a feminine Prince.

So I was asked the question the other day… “Can men be Gold Diggers?”  And the only reply I could think of was, “Is John McCain Old?”  Of course men can be Gold Diggers.  But to be honest any man that tries to live off a woman, and cannot contribute anything, can’t really be called a man.

Well the background story to this question was that this young lady had a man trying to court her.  Before they ever went on a date he was asking for phone bill money.  She told him no and he went on to the next John… or Jeannette.  My prostitution allusion didn’t go as well as I thought it would right there.  Moving along… Anyway ladies yes there are male gold diggers.  And here are 5 signs of the male Gold Digger:

  1.  He wants you to take him out for the first or subsequent dates.  Now I don’t have a problem if every once in a while my lady wanted to take me out.  But I wouldn’t want to make it a habit where she is taking me out all the time.
  2. He’s asking for help on specific bills.  Your first question should be… “How were you getting by before you met me?”
  3. He seems to have possessions that can’t be paid for by his current salary.  He has a high rise apartment downtown with new furniture, but works at McDonald’s.  See also drug dealer, robber, etc.
  4. He’s always talking about something he needs and mentioning the upcoming holidays.  Almost hinting at something.
  5. He’s always talking about how broke he is.

I just noticed these same rules apply to women.  Well these are your rules for the day.  Please govern yourselves accordingly.  And if you have a few signs go ahead and drop me a few. 

-Trillionaire Wood